Our day started when the toddler got up at 4 a.m. and joined us in our bed to scratch me and roll around. I finally got up with him, accompanied by a headache, around 5:15. I did get him back to sleep, mere minutes before #2 got up and wanted to snuggle. As the day progressed, my headache got worse. Whenever this happens, it seems to stay just barely on the edge of manageable until my spouse is in transit, at which point the throbbing and nausea kicks up a notch.
With only a couple of whiny sentences to warn him, my spouse walked in and immediately took over all the things. It's not super unusual for him to do that on any given day, but today I quickly quarantined myself in my bed and left him to manage baths, supper and bed time all by his lonesome. He did it all and managed to check on me and get me a bit of supper, too.
I couldn't really put thoughts together lying in bed, because my brain hurt too much, but I remember hearing all the teeth brushing nonsense and thinking, "That's marriage, man."
I don't mean marriage is all teeth brushing, though I highly recommend that practice. What I mean is that it's not all fluttery tummies and fast-beating hearts. It certainly is sharing joys, many of them immeasurable. But it's also sharing suffering.
I happen to know it's been a week since he slept well and that he's busy at work and exhausted, and still he stepped up without complaint when I needed it. He didn't opt to play "who is suffering more?" as some people (cough-me-cough) have been known to do. He just did what needed to be done.
Marriage can be a lot of fun, and we've had many good days. Sometimes, however, it just means doing what needs to be done to get through the day. It's harder to see, for sure, but there is beauty in that.
Also breaking: #2 turned 2 today. Last night at supper he was calling us all maniacs. Today at school Mass he was yelling out bits of the readings and the homily. In an echo-y gym. His birth traumatized his mother some, but I'd do it over for him. He's sweet and funny, and he already has a knack for breaking up tense moments by doing something hilarious. Tonight he insisted on sleeping on the mattress on the floor in his room rather than the crib. He said to his father and me before heading to bed, "Don't wake up me." Um, yeah no problem buddy.