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Day 279: Confidence

I have been filling out my new 2016 Catholic Planner. Aside: I do realize it's October. Bear with me. That's not what this is about. Part of it includes listing people who inspire you, and then reflecting on why they inspire you. I listed several different people from different areas of my life. I admire them for a number of reasons.

I got to thinking about a couple of friends in particular today while I tidied my house for a quick visit from grandma and grandpa this afternoon. These couple of friends I thought of are confident in their vocations, their parenting, and their choices. Not a "my way is the best way and I have it all together" way, but more of a "this works for me and for my family and I'm content with that" way. 

I've struggled with confidence in who I really am forever, and specifically since I became a stay-at-home mom. A book or blog or YouTube video exists for everything and you can find a zillion ways to validate your way of doing things, and a zillion more to make you feel like a total moron. 

One thing that has bothered me some is the memes and stories about how "my house is a mess but my kids are making happy memories." I used to take that as a personal attack because I like a tidy house. Not clean, really, but tidy. Having tons of clutter on every surface stresses me out. If my house were messy all the time, I'd have an ulcer. 

So yeah, sometimes I say no to Play-Doh. Sometimes I pop in a movie and fold laundry alone in my bedroom listening to a podcast. I used to feel guilty, like I was ignoring the well-being of my kids just to clean house. How awful does that sound? Well, I actually realized that I'm a happier mom when there's some semblance of order in my home. And now I'm confident that it's good for everyone if I just tell them to go play Legos while I take out the recycling or Swiffer the floor. I'm OK with it. If other moms want to play with their kids for 20 hours a day, more power to 'em. I'll tidy up first.

Hey! I even put out some fall decorations!
I do it about every fourth year.
I didn't get out the cornucopia, because toddler.

"Apple punkin patch towel" per the toddler.
Basically, I'm killing it today.

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